Lets begin, I proposed on January 12th 2014 and set a wedding date for August 2nd. Today is June 15th which is just a few days more than 6 months engaged. What have I heard/read since that time? (books, tv shows, sermons, random advice) Well, I've heard more about DISNEY cartoon movies then I have ever heard in my life! And the worst part about that is that I actually LOVE the Disney Channel.
Thing I've Heard:
1. Marriage IS NOT LIKE CINDERELLA!!! Over and Over and Over again I've heard this statement. But, I keep going back to the movie... When was Cinderella Married? Where and when was the Proposal? The wedding? IS the shoe supposed to be considered the ring? I get soooo confused when I hear this statement. She had a series of miraculous events happen to her that gave her an opportunity to meet the Man of Her DREAMS and fall in LOVE.... HMMMMMM.... Sounds EXACTLY like what happens before the PROPOSAL!?!? It shows nothing of life after marriage and nothing of life with kids or living with a spouse.
2. Marriage is nothing but work!?!?!? WHAT!!!!!! Marriage, to me, is much much much more than WORK. It is LOVE! The things you do for each other is LOVE being expressed Physically. Expressing Love physically, to me, is not JUST SEX! IT IS MUCH MORE. Doing the dishes. Taking care of each other when they are sick. Cooking, cleaning, date night, pulling back the sleeves and getting things done for EACH OTHER! Yes, that is "work" but it is also and most importantly expressing love.
3. "Happily Ever After" is IMPOSSIBLE???? Oooook... Sloooooowwwww doooowwwnnnnnn.... WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?? If this is impossible why would ANYONE get married? This is the very statement that absolutely stabs at my heart. There is no such thing as happily ever after? OOOO I SEEE, I got ya.. IT CAN'T BE TRUE BECAUSE it is inevitable that you and your spouse WILL fight. And I mean FIIIGGGHHHTTT! Yelling, slamming doors, walking out to catch some air and maybe a slap across the face. Perhaps a few nights on the couch with not even a dog to keep you company. And because of that you want to tell me that "Happily Ever After" is not real? I have seen my parents fight, my friends parents fight, my sister, my friends, and some random people on the street corner fight in their relationship. My fiancé and I have argued and fought. (Of course, she was right....) But, I'm not getting married for the work and for the WHOOP WHOOP I'm married feeling. I am marrying my fiancé because I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER and am Hoping for the Happily ever after! If I fight with her, I still plan on ABSOLUTELY LOVING her and being beyond happy that I Married her! That, to me, is Happily Ever After.
NOOOOOWWWWW, Please do not get me wrong here. I completely understand what is being said. What is being told and shown. I truly do. But, seriously, ask yourself a question. Not for my arguments sake and not to detour previous advise, but just to reflect. Just to understand my side and my heart. Ask yourself, "AM I HAPPY IN MY MARRIAGE?" If the answer is YES is that not Happily ever after? If the answer is "Well, hahaha, I have been unhappy at times." Then my retort is "WHY ARE YOU STILL MARRIED? IS IT BECAUSE YOU ARE UNHAPPY OR BECAUSE YOU ARE HAPPY?"
Faith and GOD is number 1. I recently attended Church and the Preacher said that if in your relationship you shoot for a stronger faith versus happily ever after then happily ever after can be a real thing. I agree! 100% FAITH AND GOD IS NUMBER 1!!! If that is at the top of your mind then Happily ever after IS A REAL THING!! Please, for yourself, don't go into marriage thinking this is all about work and that She is always right! Think God is first, I love my wife, and I will FOREVER be HAPPY! Also, please notice that I didn't say wife is number 2. Ephesians 5:25 says "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her."
Happily Ever After is a real thing. Let's stop taking cartoon movies and ruining what they are really about. And that is the process of falling in love with the man or woman of your dreams and not what happens after you are married.
Ephesians 5:21-33
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
